


I Wish She Was You

by Alltheshrinks



Series: Infidelity Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:28:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25615111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alltheshrinks/pseuds/Alltheshrinks
Summary: J2 fic based on Hinder’s song “Lips Of An Angel.An early morning phone call between J2, sparks memories in Jensen Ackles that he’s tried to bury.UPDATE 8/19/20 This has now become part of my Infidelity Verse.
Relationships: Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki/Original Male Character(s), Jensen Ackles/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Infidelity Verse [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886815
Comments: 45
Kudos: 65





	I Wish She Was You

**Author's Note:**

> Since everyone wants me to continue this story, I have decided to use an infidelity song for each part of the story. If you have a song idea or suggestion, drop it in the comments.
> 
> All of these verses are stand alone and can be read separately, though it is helpful to read the others. The only thing you need to know is that J2 are married to other people, but have had an on again, off again relationship for almost their entire adult life.
> 
> Comments make me insanely happy, I love engaging with all of you. Follow me over on Twitter @tltm78

Its super late in the Ackles household, as Jensen Ackles, pours himself another glass of scotch at his desk. There are papers to be signed, reports to be filed, and a virtual smorgasbord of work that he needs to get done.

The whole household, consisting of his wife Ella and their three-year-old son, John Tyler have already turned in and he guesses fast asleep. It's eerily quiet in the in-between hours of the day when it's past super late but not quite very early.

El had asked him at least an hour ago if he was coming to bed, to which he replied, "As soon as I get this last bit of work finished."

His wife had smiled that sweet smile at him and turned in. She was too good for him in every way and Jensen never let himself forget it. She works as a nurse for a Pediatric Clinic, manages all of their affairs, and raises their boy. Who is the apple of Jensen's eye.

He's sure that she's probably already sleeping, so he figures he can slip into bed without any trouble. He loves his wife, but lately, he feels incredibly guilty when he makes love to her and pictures someone else. Someone with kaleidoscope eyes, shaggy chestnut locks and dimples that should not be as adorable as they are, on a grown man.

Jensen downs the contents of his glass and scrubs a hand over his face. He's exhausted, but not just due to lack of sleep, or too much work. No, Jensen is exhausted with his surban life. The white picket fences and two point five kids, the barbecues and dinner parties and game night with the Wilsons, who live down the street.

He locks those emotions up quickly, like he does every time his traitorous thoughts take him to a life that is no longer his. His wife is absolutely stunning, dark hair and eyes, a small frame that she keeps in shape by Zumba classes, morning jogs, and eating only healthy foods. She's the type of woman that most men would kill to be with, But Jensen isn't most men. No, Jensen is a bad person, who wishes that her body was harder. That muscles and strong arms and three days worth of stubble were there instead. That he could be rough and treated rough in turn.

He needs to clamp down on all those emotions right now, to man up and climb into bed with his spouse, that he promised to love, honor, and remain faithful to.

He shuts his computer screen down and is getting ready to just get it over with, when his phone vibrates on the oak top of his desk, sending it across the surface. He wonders who the hell is calling him at two am, but one look tells him he's going to answer.

**Jay**

Jensen's heart skips a beat while he picks the black rectangle up and stares at the screen, willing it to stop, but praying it never does. He makes the decision that he always does and answers, "Jared?"

" _Jensen_?" The rough timber on the other end of the line makes his heart skip a beat, a fire starts to burn deep down in his chest and he feels more alive than he has in years.

"Jare? Why are you calling me this late?" Jensen whispers quietly into the receiver.

" _I just...I just missed your voice...I guess_." The other man's voice cracks on the line and Jensen pictures him biting his lip, young and confused, eyes already misty from emotion.

"Jared," Jensen says a little more firmly this time, but still not much above a whisper. "Are you okay? You sound upset, Jake and the kids okay?"

" _They are fine_ ," Jared clears his throat and his voice comes back calmer. " _I just miss you._ "

"Jared? I can't do this again, I won't." His voice is shaking now and he knows that tears are coming any second.

"I _can't hear you very well, what did you say?_ " Jared sounds more upset now than he did when Jensen answered.

"Jared, El, and JT are sleeping; its two am." Jensen gets up and closes his office door and engages the lock. It wouldn't do for his wife to come into him having a heart to heart with his ex.

" _I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called...It's just I always thought it would be me and you. That this life, my boys, they'd be ours. Tell me that you've never thought about it._ " Jared doesn't wait for a response before he continues, " _tell me that you don't imagine that she is me."_

"Of course I do," Jensen didn't mean to answer honestly, but he never could lie to Jared. "But this would kill her. Just this phone call would kill her and I can't hurt her, Jared. Not even for you."

" _I know I just, sometimes I dream about you and I wake up so happy, just to realize that it was a dream. Days like that, I don't ever want to wake up_." Jared sounds impossibly young, unsure of himself in ways that Jensen hasn't heard in years. Not that he talks to Jared that often.

" _Do you ever dream about me_?" Jensen sighs, ’only on days that end in Y.’" _Do you ever dream about being with me, or imagine that she's me when you together?"_

"Of course I do, all the damn time.But we made this choice and I have to see it through. Does Jake know you are calling me? Is he going to be upset?" Jensen almost hopes that it does start a fight.

" _Jensen, I just needed to hear your voice and have you say my name. I didn't mean to cause trouble_." Jensen is more than sure that Jared is crying now.

"Jay, what's wrong?" Jensen rubs at his face with the hand not holding the phone. Ignoring the moisture that can't be from his eyes.

" _I told you that I just need to hear your voice. That's all. I'll let you go._ " The younger man sounds resigned and so tired and Jensen hates that he knows the man well enough that he can pick up on that.

"Jared, I..." But the words won't come. His treasonous heart and body won't allow him to say the words. 

" _Its okay, Jensen. I know. Me, too. Me, too."_ Jared chokes on a sob and says " _Goodnight, Jen_."

Goodnight, Jensen thinks. Because goodbye could never do. "Goodnight, Jared." The older man answers.

The click of the call ending brings Jensen back to his senses, with unshed tears stinging his eyes and emotion thick in his throat.Jared makes it so hard to be faithful.


End file.
